5 O'clock Somewhere

Do vampires wake up and drink coffee or cocktails, since their morning is during happy hour?

I guess it starts at Four

My four-year-old daughter asked my husband the other day which dress she should wear to preschool. "This one, or this one?" she asked. My husband picked one, and she said she decided to wear the other one...because Frank would like it. Um, if I didn't know Frank was a kid in her class I would have been a tad bit concerned. And actually I still am. I guess this all starts at four.

Coochie Coochie

Is Charo still alive and if so, how old is that broad?

Annual visit

I got a piece of cinnamon crumbcake from my Gyno's office today during my visit, and no, that is not a new slang term for the clap.

Do condoms really work?

My husband and I had our first weekend away in over 4 years. Two pregnancies and two baby girls later, needless to say we were long over due for some time alone. With that said, the question I have is, do condoms work? I'm not on any oral contraception and am feeling a bit queasy this entire week. Ummmm, huh? Seriously is this happening or maybe it is all in my head. The drink of the week is water, in order to pee on a stick.

Cup of Joe-anne

My morning cup of coffee, is more than just some silly caffeine fix. It's my nod to the day. My way of getting mentally prepared for the chaos that will soon begin.

Having two young girls, under four, is chaos in its most reliable sense. Without my fake vanilla flavored, possibly over sugared, cafe, where would my head emerge? I rely on this cup probably too much, but then again, I don't have a coffee break at 10am, and a cigarette break at three. I get no breaks, I am a mom. If I need one darn cup of coffee to make me feel better, so be it. Cheers to the cup of Joe.

Momzilla

Selling wedding dresses is an interesting business. Just yesterday there was a girl who was probably a size 14. Her mother was a frumpy mess, but insisted on her wearing a "Beyonce" type dress. Huh?

This poor girl found a dress she loved. It fit her like a glove and she was beaming, she looked beautiful. Her mother said "She's already wide and this dress makes her look even wider". We were all crushed for the bride.

I hope she comes back without her mother, that goblin of a MOB.